Grief. We lost our son.

The Adapted Life Podcast 

Season 3 

Episode 28

A new season.  A dark tunnel.  A lonely place.  A monsoon of tears. A red bird.  A sun rise.  A blanket.  A box of tissue.  A pile of cards.  An empty room.  The loss of a son.  The weight of grief.  One purple crocus.  Sickness.  A broken heart.  A hole in my soul.

This, my friends is a very difficult conversation I am going to be having with you, with my self.  Once again, everything has been traumatically changed, because we lost our precious son on January 12, 2024 to an unexpected sudden illness.

Think of this reality.  I spent 26 years, accepting and adapting to life as a special needs mom and caregiver.  I let go of my education and career, to be Daniel's champion. 

 We did everything possible to adapt and keep Daniel’s world in the best quality of life possible.  Relationships with nurses, doctors, therapists, etc. to provide medical care interwoven with his daily life.  I worked with DDS to set up a self managed vocational day program, where by not only could we bring resources to the house for Daniel, but I was also paid to be the vocational person getting paid to manage it all.  It was a wonderful arrangement and it took years to get it established.  We had just bought a new wheelchair van,  it's sitting out in my driveway with only 2000 miles on it.   We had summer of adventures planned for Daniel in his new van. 

 And now.  Quiet.  

Its all very painful.  

And snap shot to today, which is Friday, April 5.  It has been 84 days since that horrible January day.  

Grief is my new tethered spirit.  Grief, Love, Loss…. 

Everything, in my life, was interwoven with Daniel’s life.  

So, this is the first episode, of Season 3.  I’m a member of the “I lost a child” club.  The grief club.  The “I sacrificed my life to take care of my disabled son for 26 years and now he and that life have just abruptly stopped and disappeared forever” club. 

Thanks for listening.  I hope you will let me continue to share this journey I started into podcasting, and telling my story.  Our story.  I am sure there are many who are also grieving out there.   To you, I say, I can only empathize and place my foot next to yours so we can walk the new path together. 

Keep looking for those miracles and signs.  They have been showing up for me.  I know Daniel is telling me to “see the light”.   So I shall. 

You can connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, Youtube.   My business address is:
PO BOX 3611 Newtown, CT 06470

Daniel's Special Art is still on ETSY and I will keep it alive in his memory.  
I'm not sure what kind of things I will be putting out there, but I think it's so important to talk about what happens to caregivers in this kind of situation.  

Much Love to you all.